the sprout

A sprinkle of cold water on the tilled soil and the chillness shakes me up from one weary doze off. the water, rather too cold, now turning brown on touching the humus-laden soil, reaches the tip of my tender root, causing tinges of pain, forcing fluid flow through my frozen numb body -frozen due to frustration and fruitless trials. i lift my dreary eyelids, that feel heavy due to boredom and fatigue. the long shadows of the plants around me, swaying eeriely in the night breeze add up to the creepiness of the flickering lamp on the concrete stone-wall. i cower into the tiny seedling that i am, half-burried in the soil, fully submerged in fear and insecurity, squeezing my chlorophyll-drained eyes shut. i recollect in darkness, my tiresome efforts to break into a plant, leaves sprawled over the now-vacant space, branches stretching beyond boundaries, roots reigning over the under-world, flowers blooming into magnificient blossoms. i fantasize myself being the monarch of the flower-lit garden. my dream and my one desire- to fulfil the objective of my being.

i yearn for it. i strive for it. but all i manage is a millimetre of a root. a gradual apprehension swells up at the bottom of my heart. the more i yearn for it, the more intangible it becomes. those seeds that were sowed around me have now reached uncanny heights,belittling my fragile hope, their shadows smirking at me smuggly. those, i knew, were seeds that were aimless, unaware. they just grew; never lived through the beautiful process, but 'just' grew. never did they appreciate the process of growth eruption. but now, here i am, waiting for the divine impossibility, cherishing the beauty of the unattainable.

i remember waging my sight through the impeding plants, upward, towards the clearing, to catch glimpses of the serene night-sky. the warmth that the peices of star-strewn sky offered was soothening. the one bright star that always used to show up directly above, every night, had some soft magnetic suction. every time my feeble body wanted to give up, my mind got prompted of the heights i wanted to reach. i had often told myself that i wanted to grow up to reach that star. as silly as it sounded, it made me as much invigorated. now, i visualize the star in my mind's eye, feeling its warmth and brilliance, letting myself go lost into it.

suddenly, a thought or more a realization. the star. may be that is where i wanted to reach. may be that is where i am supposed to reach. engulfed in an avalanche of thoughts, overcome by a mixed feeling of fear and awe, that of one while experiencing the ultimate truth, i freeze in my position, unable to sink in the reality. partly expecting what i was going to see, i open my eyes slowly and look at the star. with a brilliant glow, it beams at me and as i look on, the light grows brighter, bigger.....and nearer. yes, the star is where i belong to.

a plethora of colors nearly blinds me as the space-shuttle zaps across to the earth. a radiant beam of magical light falls from the shuttle on this tiny seed. as i am withdrawn from the soil and pulled toward the shuttle, i feel eternal bliss in having found the truth of my being. i was different from those plants; had a different reason for living. and to think i was only foccusing my complex brain on growing into a plant...

i witness clarity. i see the clouds of frustration disappear in front of me. i see those dark nights dissolve. i tell myself, now also, that i shall fulfil the objective of my being, only that it is a different one now. i see the earth that i have left behind, a waning dot. i know, in one corner of my heart, that i would not have made it without its soil. i see the speck of soil that i managed to carry with me and smile.